You go to your regular place. You think you’re going to be able to RELAX. But can you? NO. Why? Because some hush puppy of a half-stepper has absconded with your FAVORITE BOOTH.
Damn. Forget it. Evening ruined, Arbor Day cancelled, the library’s only copy of “Tom in Finland” placed on indefinite hold (ping me, I’ve got it in soft cover).
Well, that won’t do. What you need is a special place within your regular place. A sanctum of sanctums, a holy of holies, a wholly owned subsidiary of your usual watering hole–a VIP LOUNGE.
Guess what? As luck would have it, I have the thing you need. PROBLEM SOLVED. A very exclusive, very plush, very STRONG lounge for those of a more refined and cultured sensibility (you). I’ve even pre-stocked it with people–some you know, some you’d like to know, some you’d like others to know you might know, some you may just want to ask for THEIR HAND.
How to get on the list? Here’s the meat: Comb your hair backwards, lock your keys inside a running car and board a midnight train going anywhere. After that it’s all up to you, work it like a seventeenth-century indentured servant or cruise along with Teddy Pendergrass blasting from the Chevrolet Citation II. IT’S YOUR JOYRIDE.
UPDATED for the sensitive, serious, serious people.
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