Fame’s a big burden and now that I’m famous, I strongly feel the need to un-burden. I need to subtly but firmly WEIGH IN so as to better shape people in my image and let them know how much I care. Check this out: it’s time I tell you about DRUGS.
DRUGS are bad and only people who are bad do the DRUGS. DRUGS are so bad they make people who do the drugs do them badly. That’s un-seemly and un-thrifty. No one wants to be called a DRUGGIE. It’s an ugly word for an ugly habit. A BAD habit.
Now, I have not been spying on you or rooting around in your closet or even inside of that hollowed-out ceramic Buddha you keep by the television (JAY), so don’t take that accusatory tone with me. Your mother and I only want what’s best for you, never what’s worst. I was having lunch with your mother just the other day and she was saying what a mess you’ve made of your life and how she’s just “shuttered with shame inside” (INSIDE, JAY) (JAY).
Is that what you want? IS IT? To have your mother feeling all boarded up inside and empty and sad so it’s no wonder she goes through a box and half of wine a week? HMM?
Well. I’m glad we had this little talk. I feel better, free-er. Gauzy. Like something not chafing at all, maybe in a petite size 6. I only hope that the next time I un-burden you could hum a little and set the mood. A throw cushion here or there wouldn’t go amiss.
{ 0 comments… add one now }